Confessions of an author

I hover over the ‘publish’ button EVERY SINGLE TIME I tell people about a new project/book.

I think to myself ‘WHY THE FUCK?’ would someone want to read this? 

I think to myself ‘Surely I’ll be caught out this time…for being a fake writer’.

I think to myself ‘People will see through me and will work out that I am shit’.

I think to myself ‘Why do I bother? No one is reading my books’

I think to myself ‘Maybe, people won’t see this post’ and cross my fingers hoping they don’t.

Yet.

I still hit publish.
I still push it.
I still try.
I still give it a go.

And I still get scared. Four years on (of writing) and it doesn’t really change. I still get nervous, overthink and overthink some more.

Yet.

I keep going.

There must be a ‘sick’ part of me that likes to fuck it up. Yes, that must be the reason. Or I am mad.

That’s definitely a possibility.

I keep going.

Cos’ I know at least one person will read my stuff and will change their life.

And that’s enough.
Emma ✌️