No story. I just stopped.
Sometimes there isn’t a story behind why you are not doing something.
What does this mean? Well, allow me to use myself as today’s example.
For a good few months, I haven’t been journaling as much as I was (daily was my norm), and I would also write blogs, ebooks and was on the road to finishing another book. So, for me… writing was a nearly daily thing and filled my heart and soul.
Then, of course, with lockdown and a considerable lack of routine…things started to change. I used to write in cafes with a coffee and a view. I used to get up early and head to the beach to journal. These were the types of things that inspired me – and due to being at home and Winter being upon us…this changed. It was easier to stay cosy in bed, and let’s remember, we haven’t been to cafes for months and hanging at the beach is frowned upon where I live.
Now, this isn’t something I was conscious of not doing. I have, of course, found other things to keep me occupied – yet these last few weeks, I have definitely felt like something was missing. I even felt as though I was starting to hide a little. I would even go as far as to say that I felt a little dull, and my light wasn’t shining as much as it was a few months ago.
So, what did I do? I questioned it and self-coached myself many times. Often blaming myself for not doing what I said I would do, unravelling excuses and checking in with the identity I had seemingly forgotten about so easily. So yes, lots of blame and navel-gazing.
Did this work? Not really. In fact, I was headed down a self-destructive worm-hole…until I asked for help.
Yes. Even I struggle to ask for help. And often? I don’t.
Cos’ like most of us…I think I can work it out on my own. #stubborn
After chatting with my boyfriend over breakfast, I admitted to him that I needed help as I was starting to feel a bit lost with it all. But yes, I still needed to ask for help…he’s not an actual mindreader! Side note: I am fortunate that he is also a coach/hypnotherapist too and supports me fantastically.
After a while of pulling my issue apart, he said, ‘Maybe you are just out of practice’.
Well, ok…what about my stories woe? My tales of excuses. My saga of ‘Who am I? What am I doing here?’. Gosh, there was a bit of weight I had added, hey?
What if it was just being out of practice?
Straight away, he stood up, grabbed a notebook and pens and sat me down at the table and said, ‘Start writing now’. He made me a coffee and left me to it.
So I did.
The words flew. Gone were the excuses, and what came out was magic.
Out. Of. Practice.
Who flippin’ knew?
It wasn’t a story that I was telling myself. It wasn’t an identity crisis. I was just not doing it regularly.
So, the lesson here?
Maybe don’t over question yourself on things you are stuck on. Whilst I knew logically that motivation wasn’t going to appear… I HAD lost the consistency. And guess what? The motivation is back.
Also, just ask for help.
Ask a friend, relative or even me – or reach out to a professional. Going around in circles is not exactly great energy, and we can be our own worse enemies, can’t we?