What is it to live intentionally? How do you live with intention? 

What is it to live intentionally? How do you live with intention? 

Cos’ this is something I have consciously been working on for several years now…and it bloomin’ works! What is living with ‘intention’? And why am I even asking the question?

It’s easy to say that you can live with intention – but what does that really mean? 

To be honest, it can vary from person to person. It depends on your values, beliefs and your desired outcomes. 

So, I figured I’d write mine out for you (funnily enough, this came out in a journalling session I did a while back). Here is my share:

Living with intention means (to me):

• Making conscious decisions about my thoughts and my life
• Deliberately choosing to care for me (emotionally, mentally and physically)
• Any choices I need to make – life, kid, or business- have an intention and a clear outcome.
• Consciously notice what works for me and vice versa. Then course-correcting the pattern if needed.
• Being in control, without controlling everything.
• Mindfully making decisions in any area of my life, e.g., even going as far as what type of coffee I order – considering what time of day it is, what kind of milk, and what I am doing afterwards.
• Hanging around with others who also live with intention (or at least working or open to working on this).
• Living my life proactively.
• Creating an environment where I can grow as a person.
• Make choices in my life that align with my values and beliefs – for example, I am a vegetarian and have no issues purchasing/ordering food when I am out. No meat-free dishes? I eat beforehand or work something else out. 

Has it taken me a long time to get to this point? 

Hell yes! 

Years and years…in fact. But it’s been worth it, and I love the benefits of living with intention. 

I’ll list a few below for you:

• I rarely get angry or cranky. I would even go as far as to say that I only get mildly miffed on a bad day. Now, this isn’t to say that I still get the shits when something affects me – especially if it’s people close to me. But today’s science has proven that the rush of stress hormones we get when we get angry (for example) lasts up to 2 mins max. So anything beyond that is a story/elaboration of the truth. So past the 2 min mark, I consciously decide what will serve me and who is involved. We can not make decisions correctly when we are highly emotional. Our IQ drops by 50% within 7 minutes – this is the reason why you have felt (in the past) that you couldn’t make a good decision. 
• I notice where my energy goes – and consider, ‘How could I use that energy more effectively?’ Then channel it in the direction it’s most valuable. A great example of this is ‘gossiping’ or talking about others. And yes, of course, I am guilty of this. When I hear someone talk about another person, they are really going into fascinating detail about them and what they get up to…I think to myself, ‘I wonder what they are NOT focusing on, that they find it easier to focus on another person…?’
• I let go of shit much faster than I used to. I no longer hold grudges and forgive myself for my undoings in the past. Because really? What’s the point? It’s in the past, and I have no control over it. I do have control over how I feel today, though. 
• I tend to focus on what I CAN do rather than what I CAN’T do. This took a while to practise, and it’s worth the effort. I would notice the language I was telling myself, and I could hear my internal voice talking, ‘I can’t do…I can’t say…I can’t be…I can’t have…’ But, these days, I focus on what I CAN do, say, be and have. 
• I am super grateful. I started doing a gratitude diary several years ago (about 14 years now). Every night before I slept, I would list the ten things I was grateful for. It was hard some days, and yes – I forgot some days. But now? I regularly ‘check in’ on what I am thankful for. It’s gotten to be part of my daily talk to myself the moment I open my eyes. This is significant! Why? Because I used to play the victim back then. This ‘old me’ was bullshit and an excuse not to take action and responsibility for myself and my life. Yet – I forgive myself as I knew no better at the time. To be honest, this gratitude process was the single most significant change in my life. Without it, I wouldn’t be doing what I am doing today. 
• I don’t ‘buy’ into stories emotionally as much, which helps me make better decisions. Don’t get me wrong, I still empathise greatly, and you will often find me tearing up at things I see, hear and feel. I mean that I know that I need to protect myself emotionally first – to help others. It’s the oxygen mask on a plane analogy. What is fascinating about this benefit of living with intention is that I can see/hear people carrying stories around for decades and notice how this affects them and when they are ready to change. This makes me a fantastic therapist to my clients. 
• I know my pitfalls and own my bullshit. And I consciously work to improve this. I know I am human, and I mess up. Yet, I know I can take action to change the things that don’t fit in, and I am no longer hard on myself. 

Gosh, I could list more benefits, and this is an ongoing journey. It would be different if I wrote this blog in another 12 months. I believe that if we are not learning and growing daily – then we are becoming stagnant. 

My friend, if you have read this far – I applaud you. Over one thousand words in, and you haven’t shied away. That’s awesome! It means that maybe you’d be open to living with intention too.

If so, stay in touch. 

Emma xx